Our internal environments are controlled by our senses. Autism children seem to read their senses more acutely and more intuitively, but have difficulty communicating it. Parents are the #1 authority on their autistic child's behavior and mood. Yet we take a backseat to other people's opinions or get shoe-horned into a label of "overprotective parent." (negative labeling with judgmental overtones anyone?!?) We all know of 5 senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. Most people forget energy is like a sense, it dominates our mood, our spirit, and our physical presence. If we are tired there are gradients of fatigue that influence how snappy or defensive we come across. Animals are highly capable of reading energy levels and often make a natural pairing with autistic children.
Most people are familiar with circadian rhythm fatigue that brings an afternoon lag. Those are often morning people. Some people are aware of "sundowning" on the dementia spectrum, where erratic & nasty behaviours appear in the late afternoon or early evening. Hardly anyone knows about "sun-rising," which is also seen within the dementia spectrum when anytime of the morning erratic & nasty come out to play. Sun-riser people are the ones historically that everyone knew to leave them alone until they've had their first cup of coffee & cigarette of the day. I believe those are often the night owls and shift workers that prefer evening shift.
Children need predictable routine for meals and sleep schedules. Teenagers are a different thing again. They are in a huge growing spurt with hormone shifts and moods. They flip to evening or night hours easily but often require more sleep than children. That answers the morning zombie state of many teenagers. I think the most interesting part is that we can and do change our rhythms but we seem to have a natural setting we gravitate to. We have a natural adult weight we gravitate to so it makes sense sleep/wake cycles do too. When we travel across time zones and need to re-acclimate on return, we do it gradually if its at all possible to avoid a sleep deprivation hangover slam. Over a few days going to bed one hour earlier & getting up a bit earlier the next day is the kindest way to re-adjust our sleep. Its the same for children and teenagers. BUT sometimes I have to be The Bad Mom and let MrD get to sleep when he does, and then get him up 30 minutes earlier than the usual time, just to force the bedtime clock back into adjustment. Yes, it means a tired morning and a crabby supper hour, but the next day isn't quite as bad a repeat since bedtime is tired and less fight.
Enter creative problem solving. There's a schedule, and MrD does NOT want to cooperate, get up, or get on with the day. Sigh. Sometimes I start his day with tickling, that feeds attention and laughter which we all need. Then I give him a time limit to get up & dressed by, 5 minutes, or else he gets a splash of water tossed on him. This is a graduation from a squirt gun which seems to have mysteriously gone missing. I set the kitchen timer, when it beeps, he gets wet. That helps set the action & consequence process. I'm sure I won't win any parenting awards for it though. It does work better than grabbing all the warm blankets and hauling them out of the room leaving him cold on the bed. The next strategy is starting his morning earlier & earlier until he starts cooperating on his own, then I can back off a bit. Good Morning!
Enter creative problem solving. There's a schedule, and MrD does NOT want to cooperate, get up, or get on with the day. Sigh. Sometimes I start his day with tickling, that feeds attention and laughter which we all need. Then I give him a time limit to get up & dressed by, 5 minutes, or else he gets a splash of water tossed on him. This is a graduation from a squirt gun which seems to have mysteriously gone missing. I set the kitchen timer, when it beeps, he gets wet. That helps set the action & consequence process. I'm sure I won't win any parenting awards for it though. It does work better than grabbing all the warm blankets and hauling them out of the room leaving him cold on the bed. The next strategy is starting his morning earlier & earlier until he starts cooperating on his own, then I can back off a bit. Good Morning!
