More good news, the jacket was returned. I'm hoping Mr D has learned something from this. I have been reading Malcolm Gladwell's books, currently "Outliers." I have read "The Tipping Point," and "Blink" as well and they generate a lot of interesting thinking for me. They were so good I plan to reread them, which is unusual for me.
The "Outliers" book I am 1/3 of the way through. I finished a section last night about "practical intelligence" which really resonated with me because it is so similar to what other professionals call "social skills." The chapter was all about genius intelligence/skills and how some people succeed in life and others can't seem to. It drew parallels in my mind to autism studies since some are well known historically to be genius minds. Temple Grandin refers to the fact that autism teaches that we all have genius capabilities, and studying autism may show how we find these gifts of knowledge. Autistic brains do think differently, they can skip around in topics, leap from facts and experiences like lightening depending on how extensive their mental library of resources is. Some lack the ability to focus while others cannot escape their focus to the neglect of everything else. I know it is in these extremes that gifts and strengths are hidden.
Practical intelligence is something we learn socially. We learn how to interact, to communicate, manners, and hidden social rules. If we fail to learn them, we end up with egg on our face or ultimately become socially excluded. Some people even exclude themselves socially, because social events make them greatly uncomfortable. It's not that they are sociopaths, we all seem to fear & revile that. Its that they never had help learning how to navigate the rules. I know this is why autistic children need to be exposed to as many new experiences and changes as they can. Any child who's environment is narrow and unyielding to change would have social handicaps. If you do not know how to navigate a rocky conversation, to smooth talk, to wheel and deal, or even how to be legitimately heard, those are handicaps too.
I have experienced many many tantrums, screaming-stomping-break things tantrums. I would not miss any of them for fear of upsetting MrD. The tantrums are his way of rejecting what he is overwhelmed with. I do not fear tantrums, they are just noise and they pass. Life is full of uncomfortable events & situations. I wouldn't be doing my job as "bad Mom" if I didn't make sure MrD was uncomfortable at times, pushed from his comfort levels, and challenged. Tantrums are hard but life is harder. MrD doesn't have the advantage of having a sibling like I did growing up. Many sibling fights simply prepared me for the world that life isn't fair, life is hard. If life were easy, it would be boring. The world is a big place, there's no sense hiding a child from it because of an invisible handicap like autism. Hiding from adversity is denying the chance to learn, to live, and to finding adventures.
I know I casually refer to Temple Grandin's work, and I mean no disrespect. I strongly encourage anyone interested to read her works, she has a unique and enlightening insight to the autistic mind. She has overcome many difficult life experiences & is a champion of facing challenges while breaking down biases.
