MrD has a knack for turning almost every adult he encounters into a tattle-tale at some point or another. Its frustrating, and occasionally amusing. I learned in MrD's elementary days from a wise experienced teacher the sweet definitions. A "tattletale" is someone who tells on another to get them into trouble and maybe make them-self look good too. "Telling" is communicating because they don't know what to do but want to help the other person learn & not make the mistake anymore. Its dumbfounding how many people forget this distinction!
So I get these stinking phone calls, usually when I've worked a night shift & need my sleep, or I'm working & can't leave the site, or I'm sick & dearly needing to rest. "MrD did this", "MrD did that" says a teacher, a teachers-assistant, a vice principal, a counsellor, a principal... So then I hear them out: he wouldn't do his work; he wouldn't sit down when told for the x'th time; he won't stop making annoying noises; he won't climb out from under the desk; he won't stop fidgeting with paperclip/eraser/ruler/pen/pencil/mechanical pencil...; he had a tantrum & tipped over a desk (only happened once); he won't come down from the goal post.
Its okay to laugh now, we sometimes do after it passes. Inevitably when we do the "back-chaining," "sleuthing," or "following the chain of events," (all the same don't you think?) an adult has been inconsistent or unfair. Or a classmate has set him up, he took the fall, no one saw the starting sequence, so the overt/subvert bullying keeps happening. Grrrrrrrrr! So we talk through the Integrated Education Plan ( IEP ) and I remind said tattletale to send MrD to the counsellor, the IEP teacher, the office. He's been going to the office for things since grade 3, it has no bite, its not scary. Going to the office means giving him a chance to take his mood out of the classroom & hopefully an experienced "professional" adult will communicate with him and get to the bottom of it.
Despite firmly reminding MrD that I'm sleeping today, to stay out of trouble, to not make the phone ring, I got a call from the vice principal. He's been sent to the office multiple times last week & again today. Sigh. I make a point of calling each & every school professional by their first name to level the playing field. I don' t lord my title over them unless they are being patronizing & inattentive. Of course I've had 4 broken hours of sleep and now have to deal with this. I listened patiently, then set in with quizzing what happened, where, when, who, what was done, has he spoken with the 2 professionals that are well versed in his communication style which is outlined in the IEP... A kid last week has been bragging about masturbating during class & putting his thumb up his own rectum. This disgusts MrD to no end, who wouldn't be disgusted by this? Now all it takes is said kid to gesture to repulse MrD and derail his classroom experience. After talking with MrVP I ask to talk with MrD. I ask him bluntly & almost sternly what happened, what was done, when, why. He diverts around with some excuses now, he missed the morning break & didn't get a snack; his knee hurts and the ibuprofen isn't working anymore (not quite true since I've observed it works well for up to 6 hours with him); masturbator kid upset him, BINGO. I tell MrD that to him, that kid does not exist, he's invisible, to ignore him. I ask to talk with MrVP again. MrVP was writing down all MrD's responses. I reminded MrVP that the masturbator kid is bullying, and even though no one saw it (how convenient) kids know how to do things when adults aren't watching. So I advised that he needs to get to the bottom of the now overt bullying going on. MrD does not have any siblings to train him in the realities of "the set-up and the fall" game that most people are well versed in. Even though this is grade 8 high-school, it still feels like the adults are doing the bullying at times like this.
