Music has influence

Having noise as part of background environment is fairly normal for most people.  I've gotten back into having music using "SHOUTcast - Songbird" free from the internet.  The music selection is phenomenal!  For a long time we needed quiet because TV & Radio cause fractured attention with the screaming-sonic-boom-volume commercials.  Its hard for regular people to enjoy media with jacked up volume interruptions, try being a little more sensitive to sensory stimuli and wah-la, an instant recipe for frustration.  There are two enviroments we can control to some extent; internal and external.  (More blog posts upcoming about environments)

Sometimes when problems arise you have to go all the way back to the basics to figure out where is the hijacker that is making a problem or behaviour so maddening, or just contributing.  There have been numerous studies about music popularity and it is now known that top-40music follows recognizable patterns.  I hear more and more overlap in music genres now than ever before.  Patterns are identical or tweaked to be faster, slower, mechanical, interrupted, or enhanced somehow.  A musical brain would be fascinated by the myriad of facets of musical patterns.  A musical brain is often a mathematical brain, or one that recognizes patterns.

Motivational upbeat music has a tempo of about 80-90 beats-minute.  High octane exercise music has a tempo about 100-130 beats per minute.  Relaxing calming music has a tempo 60-70 beats per minute.  Ever noticed sleepy music is never on the radio in the morning?  Thats intentional.  It is a challenge to play with this information.  Afternoon lag?  Time to crank up the music and do something active.  The boost lasts longer than caffeine & sweets without the dehydration or energy crash.

Today I cranked up the Dance tunes, and getting up was easier for me and MrD.  I intend to experiment with music in our environment during meals, homework, and of course bedtime.

Change is transition

September brings grade 8 into our lives for MrD.  Its exciting and scary.  I remember vividly certain things about grade 8, the chaos, the newness, the anticipation, then the eventual, "that's it?"  I'm a generation X gal, apathy was the flavour for everything.  Much Music, neon colours, Goth, heavy metal, bubble-gum-pop-music, and more advertising than any generation before.  This and a family with heavy influence in critical thinking and social games, not much was a surprise it seems.  Now I see it was full of so much extremes and contrast, but it was normal.

MrD doesn't always handle transition well.  "Front-loading" helps, in which we talk about what's coming up next, sometimes in great detail.  With enough preparation he does quite well.  If we're going to the mall, he knows that is  a big busy place with lots of people milling around.  It used to be I'd have to remind him of the environment, which stores we needed to go to, and what we needed to do or get while we were there.  With practice it is enough now to know, we're going to the mall.  Familiar transitions are almost always easier than new experiences, that seems to apply to everyone.  Strangely we have transitions every day to get out of our house to go out that have resistance attached.  I still haven't figured out if its anxiety fueled or control or rebellion.  Its getting to be the same way to get out of the car once we're home to go into the house.  Its a mystery to me.

The elementary teacher-aid & high-school counsellor have done a phenomenal job of front-loading the high school experience.  MrD has had numerous tours of the high school at different times of day, seen the layout, walked the halls and learned what he will be navigating.  There have also been discussions about crowded hallways, awareness of body space, how much space a backpack takes & not to club people with it accidentally.  There have been giggling conversations about farting in busy halls, so there's definitely an awareness of noxious odors!  Then there's the daily schedule, students go to the teachers, opposite to how most elementary school programming is.  Time also has to be measured and judged.  "I forgot" or "I got lost" aren't excusable for very long.  MrD accepts these new big transitions quite well.  I suspect it is because he has not had a traditional one family upbringing with the same friends in elementary school and high school that I was so bored with during my education.  Then there's the interesting remixing of friendships & enemies, strange alliances that aren't obvious, and the ever present hormone soup swirling around.  That there is the monkey in the system, the mystery to why locker slammings, stuffings and bullying in general appear.  Kids know the rules, so they're subtle, they do things when adults don't generally catch them.  That's the big dread of grade 8.  Unpleasant events once, or repeatedly are enough to make anyone snap.  I'm hopeful the grade 8 year will be a success, yet I do not have much faith in the school system after all the subtle bullying episodes from elementary school.

Spreading positive energy

Recently I have been challenged with several sources of difficult thinking people and situations.  I mean that it is difficult to meet their level of thinking and agree 100%.  Most people are aware of their viewpoint only & are really conflicted when presented with another viewpoint that doesn't match theirs.  Everyone likes to think that they are right, they are okay, and that their way is best.  In fact, because of this it is very easy to fall into patterns of complaining, constantly even.  I'm no "Pollyanna" type of person, I know life is full of hard things, awful things, full out excrement things.  I just get tired of everyone complaining, its oppressive.  It is getting to the point where it could be a cliche, "to be human is to complain."  

Complaining is not the same as having an opinion.  The differentiation becomes blurred when one negative opinion is broadcasted, repeatedly, beyond its purpose.  Negative energy breeds negativity.  Have you ever gone to a meeting in an okay state of mind & walked away grumbling?  It seems as contagious as yawning, and just as insidious.  After thinking about this and the mind body connection, I wonder.  Can we make ourselves sick by fixating on the negative?  Another cliche is to "fake it 'til you make it."  I have re-interpreted that to mean: the lousier I feel, the better care I must take of myself.  Even when I don't feel like smiling, sometimes it helps to trick myself into it by looking at silly youtube videos, sharing cheezy jokes, or playing with my cat.  Once I choose to change my mind, if feels like throwing off a big heavy blanket, or basking in sunshine after being indoors all day.  

I know that when there is a lousy mood in our home, it feels oppressive.  I don't know how else to describe it, like a black rain cloud right over my home.  Everyone reacts to it differently with different coping.  TV, computer, video games, naps, swearing, fights, yelling matches, competing for attention...  When Negative comes to visit, it is getting better to acknowledge it, and deal with it.  Ignoring Negative seems to generate more.  Thats my rambling thoughts right now.  Here's a prayer that resonates with me & stimulated this post.

"People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."
Mother Teresa