God, help me to tell the truth to the strong and to avoid telling lies to get the weak's applause. If you give me fortune, do not take away my reason. If you give me success, do not take away my humility. If you give me humility, do not take away my dignity. God, help me to see the other side of the medal. Don't let me blame others of treason just because they don't think like me. God, teach me to love people as I love myself and to judge me as I judge others. Please, don't let me be proud if I succeed, or fall in despair if I fail. Remind me that failure is the experience that precedes triumph. Teach me that forgiving is the most important in the strong and that revenge is the most primitive sign in the weak. If you take away my success, let me keep my strength to succeed from failure. If I fail people, give me courage to apologize and people fail me, give me courage to forgive them. God, if I forget you, please do not forget me.
Mahatma Gandhi
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Media
I learned when my child fixates on something to the exclusion of all others to be cautious & seriously question it. Video games are designed to be addictive. They're repetitive & reward based, solve or conquer. They're fun, but they need to be limited. Its hard to be the one to always take the high road, to do things the hard way. I have to set limits on TV, computer time, & video games in our home. Its not reasonable to exclude them, but I can teach boundary setting a little at a time. I'm a mean Mom that way. Occasionally I let the video games go on for a whole afternoon, thats okay too. I received good advice to allow it once in a while because the body sets consequences of boredom, frustration hunger, thirst & bathroom breaks that cannot be ignored indefinitely. The fallout of a grumpy boy is not sweet, downright nasty usually. Thats where the hard road fits in, sourcing out the root of the tantrum is usually hunger & fatigue. Snack time, quiet, distraction & later discussion of the frustration sometimes helps.
So, electronics are addicting but repetitive and socially acceptable. Stimming is not. Stimming is self stimulating at a primal level to relieve stress or anxiety. Sometimes they are referred to as "ticks." Some kids spin, rock, self harm, knock, hum, click or grunt. It is hard to be vigilant for stimming because it changes. Is biting your nails, tapping a pen, clenching your jaw, licking your lips, blinking repeatedly or flinching stimming? The clue lies in the behaviour. Is it impossible to stop mid stim? Is it tantrum status if interrupted? The problem I've found is that the bigger a deal I make about the stimming, the more anxiety is created & the more entrenched the stimming becomes. Thats a vicious circle no one wants to be in the middle of.
So, electronics are addicting but repetitive and socially acceptable. Stimming is not. Stimming is self stimulating at a primal level to relieve stress or anxiety. Sometimes they are referred to as "ticks." Some kids spin, rock, self harm, knock, hum, click or grunt. It is hard to be vigilant for stimming because it changes. Is biting your nails, tapping a pen, clenching your jaw, licking your lips, blinking repeatedly or flinching stimming? The clue lies in the behaviour. Is it impossible to stop mid stim? Is it tantrum status if interrupted? The problem I've found is that the bigger a deal I make about the stimming, the more anxiety is created & the more entrenched the stimming becomes. Thats a vicious circle no one wants to be in the middle of.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Happiness
So if stimming brings happiness, what else can be substituted? Repetitive non-stressful things like crafts, puzzles, pets, bike riding, sports, baking, or other hobbies.... Okay, how about spinning your own yarn? weaving? Spinning & weaving is commonly associated with crazy. The perception is wrong, not the interest. A strong analytical mind is naturally drawn to pattern seeking, mathematics, and music. Weaving is a rhythmic, repetitive pattern based skill. Spinning fibres into yarns is also a moving meditation.
Why is society hung up with creating things? It is not on trend. Look around you, someone had to figure out how to make the fibre, & then the math to create all the common textiles today. Pattern based minds figured out the best weave structure to make denim fabric for the jeans that are everywhere. Try it. Go get interested in a new hobby, and try to discuss it among other people. Watch them glaze over with boredom, or their attention wander away. Weaving is associated with something tedious, hard to do, time & labour intensive. What does all the TV & video gaming produce? Why does "crafting" have such a negative stigma? Something to do with the language; Home made vs Hand made. A home made pie or cookies are well loved & have yummy romantic associations. A home made craft brings forward the idea or feeling of something crappily made or kids immature art projects. Picture a crochet doll cover over the toilet paper or crochet toilet seat cover. Does that compare to a hand made card or a home made afghan blanket to cuddle on the couch with. How about ripping old sheets & making a rag rug out of them? Well, now there's some social approval coming through. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. Its hammered into us, repeatedly, almost brainwashing really. Caring about how we use our resources should never have become a trend, why isn't it just normal. It wasn't that long ago there was another mantra: use it up, wear it out, or do without. That's been obliterated by cars & appliances that have built in obsolecence after 5 years or less, they break, and it costs more to repair them than to replace them. Our landfills can't handle it. Consumers demand lowest prices, best value. Manufacturers cut corners with a 4cent part that should've been a 9cent part & then the product quits prematurely. Rant rant rant. Do you think an average mind will have the patience to sit down & figure out how to fix this broken DVD player? An autistic detail oriented problem solving mind can.
Why is society hung up with creating things? It is not on trend. Look around you, someone had to figure out how to make the fibre, & then the math to create all the common textiles today. Pattern based minds figured out the best weave structure to make denim fabric for the jeans that are everywhere. Try it. Go get interested in a new hobby, and try to discuss it among other people. Watch them glaze over with boredom, or their attention wander away. Weaving is associated with something tedious, hard to do, time & labour intensive. What does all the TV & video gaming produce? Why does "crafting" have such a negative stigma? Something to do with the language; Home made vs Hand made. A home made pie or cookies are well loved & have yummy romantic associations. A home made craft brings forward the idea or feeling of something crappily made or kids immature art projects. Picture a crochet doll cover over the toilet paper or crochet toilet seat cover. Does that compare to a hand made card or a home made afghan blanket to cuddle on the couch with. How about ripping old sheets & making a rag rug out of them? Well, now there's some social approval coming through. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. Its hammered into us, repeatedly, almost brainwashing really. Caring about how we use our resources should never have become a trend, why isn't it just normal. It wasn't that long ago there was another mantra: use it up, wear it out, or do without. That's been obliterated by cars & appliances that have built in obsolecence after 5 years or less, they break, and it costs more to repair them than to replace them. Our landfills can't handle it. Consumers demand lowest prices, best value. Manufacturers cut corners with a 4cent part that should've been a 9cent part & then the product quits prematurely. Rant rant rant. Do you think an average mind will have the patience to sit down & figure out how to fix this broken DVD player? An autistic detail oriented problem solving mind can.
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