I learned when my child fixates on something to the exclusion of all others to be cautious & seriously question it. Video games are designed to be addictive. They're repetitive & reward based, solve or conquer. They're fun, but they need to be limited. Its hard to be the one to always take the high road, to do things the hard way. I have to set limits on TV, computer time, & video games in our home. Its not reasonable to exclude them, but I can teach boundary setting a little at a time. I'm a mean Mom that way. Occasionally I let the video games go on for a whole afternoon, thats okay too. I received good advice to allow it once in a while because the body sets consequences of boredom, frustration hunger, thirst & bathroom breaks that cannot be ignored indefinitely. The fallout of a grumpy boy is not sweet, downright nasty usually. Thats where the hard road fits in, sourcing out the root of the tantrum is usually hunger & fatigue. Snack time, quiet, distraction & later discussion of the frustration sometimes helps.
So, electronics are addicting but repetitive and socially acceptable. Stimming is not. Stimming is self stimulating at a primal level to relieve stress or anxiety. Sometimes they are referred to as "ticks." Some kids spin, rock, self harm, knock, hum, click or grunt. It is hard to be vigilant for stimming because it changes. Is biting your nails, tapping a pen, clenching your jaw, licking your lips, blinking repeatedly or flinching stimming? The clue lies in the behaviour. Is it impossible to stop mid stim? Is it tantrum status if interrupted? The problem I've found is that the bigger a deal I make about the stimming, the more anxiety is created & the more entrenched the stimming becomes. Thats a vicious circle no one wants to be in the middle of.
