My son's selective hearing is very frustrating to our family. We had his hearing tested & it's normal. He can hear conversations that are none of his business. He can hear crinkling in the kitchen that inspire him to investigate. He can purposefully hear some silly musical twists that make lyrics of songs hysterical & distorted from the original interpretation (I do that too!). "You can call Me Al" is an old 80's song, can't think of the band right now, but I've always heard it as, "You can call MEEE--owww!" Lots of people do this to lyrics, it makes life more fun.
When it comes to everyday jobs of getting ready for school, the bus, bed... Well, I can ask him, did he brush his teeth? He will either reply, "Okay" or "In a minute." & continue reading comic books or building Lego. He has done the social pattern of answering the question, but skirted compliance. Let me tell you, this is really maddening when pushing 10pm & school the next day. Time doesn't stop or wait, jobs still have to be done. We've done all the parent tricks: asking, repetition, yelling, begging, pleading, guilting, removing privileges, swearing... Do not pass Go, do not collect any dollars. Hold that thought, meaningful tangent coming.
Not that long ago he liked singing a really annoying song, repeatedly. Did I mention repeatedly, in a horrible falsetto voice? regardless of telephone conversations in progress, headaches, parent fatigue, REPEATEDLY. The song was, "chicken wing, chicken wing, hot-dog and balognee, chicken & macaroni" With the addendum of "Hanging with my homies" later on when he understood what a homie was (slang for a friend). I have a really high tolerance for all things annoying. I learned a long time ago that if I ignore the annoying current trick, it fizzles out because it has no effect. Didn't work this time, drats. So, after putting up with this for a few weeks, it occurred to me, he needs to sing, he needs music, he needs reaction & attention. I have never been great at playing by dictator rules, I usually duck & navigate my own way until the tyranny abates. I finally had a "duh" moment, and thought, I can fix this, change the lyrics to words he doesn't like. Well now, here's the new & improved lyrics: "Sexy things, sexy things, penis and vagina, boobies & _I forget the last word_." We have a winner!!! Every time the chicken wings song came out we would chime in with the new lyrics right over top, louder. It took about 2 days, but it worked!
Back to the selective hearing topic. My son was having trouble with stopping his preferred task of reading Calvin & Hobbes to get on task. Who doesn't like Calvin & Hobbes? Thats great reading, normally a parents job is to encourage reading. Its also somewhere in the unwritten job list to get children to comply on their own, to take ownership & responsibility for everyday tasks. Now when I get the dreaded reply, "in a minute" or "Okay" I ask him again, with really syrupy sweet names. "Honey Bunny, are your teeth done yet?" "C'mon sweetheart, its time to go!" "Sweet'ums, get out of the tub please." The more saccharin the better! Now its a challenge to come up with sweeter & sweeter phrases with the added ante of saying, would you like me to open the front door for the whole neighborhood to hear? Compliance achieved! He got quite mad about this until I explained it to him this way. He's dabbling between little kid & teenage independence worlds. If he chooses to behave like a little kid, then I have to treat him that way. If he wants his independence, then he should prove it by cooperating with these basic everyday jobs.
